“You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.  Lord my God, I will praise you forever.”  Psalm 30: 11-12 NIV

Mother’s Day is not an easy day for me.  My one and only son is not with me.  I will not see him.  I will not hear his voice.  My arms and home are empty.

Last year on this very same day, I let the sadness overwhelm me as I dove head-first into the abyss of loss.  I went to church and all I saw were happy families.  I secretly resented their happiness and their smiles were like slaps to my face, painful and repetitive.  Swallowed up in myself, I cried through the church service.  I was a mess.  I was going to stay home this year and save myself from the embarrassment.

However, I was truly convicted that I was dishonoring the Lord by allowing my circumstances to overwhelm me.  This meant I was being ungrateful to Him when I should have a posture of praise.  I made a promise to love Him and follow Him. This meant praising Him always, not just when He answered my prayers.  There is power in this discipline of praise, in just resting in gratefulness, refocusing.

God’s funny.  Two sisters in Christ were getting baptized but at different services which meant that I attended not one, not two, but three services during worship.  He was reminding me who He was and who I was in Him. I sang His truths over again and again and drew in the strength He had for me.

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.  My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I will praise him.” Psalm 28:7 NIV

He blessed my day with His peace and I was able to bless others with my presence.  He brought people across my path with meaningful hugs to fill my empty arms. I was able to reach out to another and hold her while she cried, to tell her I understood.  He orchestrated a beautiful day of love and joy.  And for that, I am ever so grateful.

Father, Thank You for filling empty arms.  Thank You for whispering, “Trust Me even in this” and Thank You for the opportunity to praise You. In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.